Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Even before Johnny contacted the “Mommas”, I had been thinking about posting on this topic for awhile. At some point I realized I shouldn’t be complaining too much. We are lucky enough to have a great son like Alex in our lives and there are people out there who have gone through so much already and are now being subjected to this endless wait. I felt almost selfish to be complaining when I had already been blessed with one child. Coming to this realization kind of changed the wait for me. Sure I still complain about it being SOOO long and I wish everyday that she were here by now, but I also see some positives. Alex and I were able to have one more summer of mommy-son trips without an infant/toddler in tow. We don’t have to schedule around diapers and naps yet. Alex has started first grade and we are working out a schedule for him without having to worry about a fourth little person being thrown into the confusion.

Surprisingly, the wait to this point has seemed to fly by. We have work, school, homework, soccer, swim lessons, etc. so I haven’t had a lot of extra energy to focus on being depressed by the wait. I decided awhile back that it would be unfair for everyone if I took my attention/energy away from them and wasted it on something that I have no control over anyway. I do get down from time to time, but it is more of a “get-her-home-so-we-can-get-on-with-our-lives” thing. We haven’t really started working on the nursery (besides the sewing) and I try to not go to crazy with the shopping (sometimes I can’t resist). I think this makes it easier for all of us since we don’t have a constant reminder of a crib or other misc. baby stuff around the house. Alex has seemed upset about the wait a couple of times. We had originally told him that she would be here by now and he doesn’t really understand why it is taking so long (just like the rest of us LOL!!). He can’t wait to be a big brother and always “practices” when there are young girls around. He is very excited about going shopping for her. We have talked about going on a spree once we get the referral and he is planning on making her a bear at Build-a-Bear. He seems more excited than jealous at this point, but really has no idea what he is getting into.


Johnny said...

thanks for posting your thoughts on this Carrie! I've been getting private emails from folks commenting on their reaction after reading the various viewpoints.

kikalee said...

It's great to hear a different point of view on this. As a (impatient) childless person, I never think of fellow adoptive friends with children as being "different" or people that don't deserve the feelings I'm going through. We're all waiting. It sucks. But selfishness? Far from it. Scream frustration all you want!

David said...

Great post! Thanks for your response, and it seems like you've chosen the healthy approach to it all!